I speak Science Plan

Do you? If so, maybe you can tell me how to eat it. It's barely better than a passing lady bird.

Cat Racing

This evening I galloped across the roof. The wind was blowing in my ears, my whiskers were nicely ruffled and I let loose the odd trapped wind. I needed someone to race with me but that young minx was out, in MY garden with MY friend Aslan. And I've spent all this time trying to poison her with my antibiotics to NO effect. I think I'll suggest we have a race and I'll put up some signs - 'This way for the winner.' She has no sense of direction.

Gums up

Due to a recent visit to vets for TWO injections, I have now lost THREE teeth but the rest are gleaming pearlies.

Vet spotted my teeth were causing me problems - genetic condition NOT my fault - tried to explain it didn't stop me eating, demonstrated. In fact laterally, have gained weight, as had lost an lb or two due to Scarlett's constant mewing and hussling for anything she can stuff in her teeny, little chops.

Was woken yesterday morning, offered no breakfast, bundled into Basket of Death, presented at vets AGAIN only to discover I wasn't going home with her. The vet carried me off under her arm and I tried in vain to reach out a paw for Her to grab me back, take me home... Placed in wire cage, arm shaved, blood taken, suddenly passed out. Awoke dribbling, with a thick lip and rather pleasant floaty feeling.

Eventually She collected me and have to confess was rather pleased to see her. Ensured I had extra rations/chin strokes/poll position on bed/bowl of milk/Scarlett ejected. Haven't checked my smile in mirror - yet.

Have to sleep it all off now, post operative stress needs serious attention.